Ghost taking baby steps

[ATPeace]

I will try to respond to your post. Just bear in mind that you are touching various issues in your posts, so please don't confuse the answers.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Said respect does not require love and that a woman first has to respect her h as a Man before she can desire him as her husband

Do you believe there is a difference in love and respect? Yes there is a very big difference and I can see this To respect another person means you hold admiration for them based on something you see well done in them. Perhaps you respect a person's wisdom. Maybe another person's character seems outstanding. You may respect certain leaders based on their courage or ability to influence others to follow. You can respect a man who has worked hard to provide for his family; a woman for being an exceptional mother; an author for bringing life to written words. We could give a thousand examples, and there would be one common thread that would link them. They have some ability, trait, or character that you admire. You can admire a firefighter who goes into a burning building to save a person's life. You respect him for his courage and willingness to risk his own life to save another life. However, no love is required in order to appreciate or admire this person.

Do you know who are the hardest to win their respect for us? The ones closest to us. B/c they see us at our bad times, ugly times, stupid times, selfish times, on & on........they see everything and know the real us. I tell you this, b/c getting respect from your W may not be the easiest thing you've ever tried, however, it is very possible. Just do not confuse respect and love. Love is a strong emotion that comes from out heart. It is affectionate interest and well being for another person. And in M, it is an intense desire to be emotionally and physically intimate with the other person.

Now, moving on to a woman who has respect for her H. The more she admires about him, the easier it will be to love him. B/c women are wired to respect a man before she can desires him for her H, once she really feels admiration for him......she would have a tough time not feeling the desire quickly following the respect. It just goes hand in hand for women. Obviously, your W must have respected you before she agreed to M you. Did you ever know what it was about you that she admired? Think about the man you were before M. What were you like back then? And, I really need you to answer this question, please. Sandi Ok I met my wife when she was just 15 and she had come from a home where she had been abused by her step mum she came from a family where she had very little money and no love from her mum or step mum, I came along and I was from a wealthy family and I showed my love to her . Her friends were just 15 and she was going out with a guy with a nice car so I guess to some degree she felt important and above her friends who were not dating or if they were they had boyfriends the same age ....she had love from me and we grew together being with me the abuse from her step mum stopped. She had security and we had each other. To throw a problem in here she has lost all respect for me I realise this I have spoken bad to my son and she feels that I have become her abuser....where she is now she has grown in to a strong self sufficient woman I have supported her and encouraged her with her career she is very good at her job she is great with our children and I really do not know how I am going to find a way back into her life

So I understand that I need to be a great father to my children and I have already stepped up in this department considerably and I am doing so much more with my children than I used to do ...I realise this makes me a better parent .

Yes, being a wonderful father to her children, is important to women. Remember, it is more than doing activities with them. It is parental teaching, training, and raising. It is about influencing a young life to have a healthy self esteem, good character traits, high standards, etc. It's you trying to give them what they will need to be a happy, well rounded human being. It is teaching Your sons how to be a man. (Could a lot more, but these are just a very few highlights).

ok I am going to take a stab at this myself you do this by not trying to get her respect back by backing off giving her the divorce that she wants let her go leave the marriage leave the house go and start a new life with out you you do not try to win her back ...you do this by stopping chasing after her ......is this right

Could you restate that first sentence again? She needs to feel respected and to be able to feel that she has respect for me is this what you mean ?

Can you give an example of her respecting you.....that has nothing to do with a divorce? Now can give you an example of her respecting me I really do not know she does not think I have been the best father I think she would believe that I would always keep her and our children safe ...is this respect I would now provide for them all and put their needs over mine?

.