I will try to respond to your post. Just bear in mind that you are touching various issues in your posts, so please don't confuse the answers. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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You Said respect does not require love and that a woman first has to respect her h as a Man before she can desire him as her husband
Do you believe there is a difference in love and respect? To respect another person means you hold admiration for them based on something you see well done in them. Perhaps you respect a person's wisdom. Maybe another person's character seems outstanding. You may respect certain leaders based on their courage or ability to influence others to follow. You can respect a man who has worked hard to provide for his family; a woman for being an exceptional mother; an author for bringing life to written words. We could give a thousand examples, and there would be one common thread that would link them. They have some ability, trait, or character that you admire. You can admire a firefighter who goes into a burning building to save a person's life. You respect him for his courage and willingness to risk his own life to save another life. However, no love is required in order to appreciate or admire this person.
Do you know who are the hardest to win their respect for us? The ones closest to us. B/c they see us at our bad times, ugly times, stupid times, selfish times, on & on........they see everything and know the real us. I tell you this, b/c getting respect from your W may not be the easiest thing you've ever tried, however, it is very possible. Just do not confuse respect and love. Love is a strong emotion that comes from out heart. It is affectionate interest and well being for another person. And in M, it is an intense desire to be emotionally and physically intimate with the other person.
Now, moving on to a woman who has respect for her H. The more she admires about him, the easier it will be to love him. B/c women are wired to respect a man before she can desires him for her H, once she really feels admiration for him......she would have a tough time not feeling the desire quickly following the respect. It just goes hand in hand for women. Obviously, your W must have respected you before she agreed to M you. Did you ever know what it was about you that she admired? Think about the man you were before M. What were you like back then? And, I really need you to answer this question, please.
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So I understand that I need to be a great father to my children and I have already stepped up in this department considerably and I am doing so much more with my children than I used to do ...I realise this makes me a better parent .
Yes, being a wonderful father to her children, is important to women. Remember, it is more than doing activities with them. It is parental teaching, training, and raising. It is about influencing a young life to have a healthy self esteem, good character traits, high standards, etc. It's you trying to give them what they will need to be a happy, well rounded human being. It is teaching Your sons how to be a man. (Could a lot more, but these are just a very few highlights).
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ok I am going to take a stab at this myself you do this by not trying to get her respect back by backing off giving her the divorce that she wants let her go leave the marriage leave the house go and start a new life with out you you do not try to win her back ...you do this by stopping chasing after her ......is this right
Could you restate that first sentence again?
Can you give an example of her respecting you.....that has nothing to do with a divorce?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
