Do you see your dad as abusive or just a dominator? Dominator
Did he drink or take drugs? No
Has he ever atonediscussed? No, dead in 2013.
Is your mum and dad still M and or together? No, mom in out of state assisted living facility a 5 minute walk from oldest sisters home.
Do you still see your mum and how is the family dynamic? Yes until she move this year. I am friendy with my middle and youngest sister. My oldest sister I am tired of, she has issues and drama. I have pulled away from my mother this year as my marriage is imploding.
Your W is not obliged to stay. She can release those shackles as easy if not easier than you. I too feel like breaking the shackles and even throwing, hem and the rest of this crap away. And maybe one day we will have to do just that. But we must do it for us. Our situations are not healthy for us but it is a path we must travel. You have good company on your path and it will stand to you. I look forward to seeing where V's questions/help leaf you. I am even a little excited for you.
Happy thoughts
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
I let my guard down yesterday and was sarcastic to my wife in front of the kids. Later when we were alone she called me out on it. I apologized and explained what I was feeling when I said it. It was a set back for me. I thought I had evolved past my old behaviors. By uttering a few words I have reminded my wife of the man I was and to some extent still are. I am disappointed in myself and will double my efforts on how I speak to everyone.
My new goal is Compassionate Listening & Loving Speech. I can do this, I will do this, I must do this, for everyone deserves this.
My wife just left for work. She came into the kitchen already dressed for work and had her coat on. I said good morning and she mumbled some syllable and proceed to grab a snack from the cupboard,stuffed it in her pocket, gave the dog his medicine, walked to the front door, opens it, says bye and walks out. She seemed annoyed not sad or depressed.
If I am the root cause of this emotion and behavior it does not bode well for me. I will remain patient as she lives this chapter of her life. Sigh
Mutatio. I am sitting here in tears over something similar. M, you are a human being, you are allowed to slip up, make a sarcastic comment, it doesn't define you. Forgive yourself.
There is a book called Stop Walking on Eggshells. I think you need to read it. Or forget the book and just stop walking on eggshells.
We all slip up. You are not a sarcastic man, you are a man who made a sarcastic remark. Done. Over. Apologize and go back to being awesome.
You really should have jumped into my sister's car and joined us, I really could use the backup. We are all sitting here in complete kid and mess chaos.
I should give up mind reading, I rarely get it right.
I was thinking that I was doing that before I read your post F. I am not myself by doing that. I am meek and afraid of her. Fear does not impress anyone. I must work on that too.
