Had a good day. Woke up thinking enough is enough and I need to start to live for me. Have myself few goals to achieve today mostly all done except one that can be done tomorrow. H came to pick kids up late. Didn't say anything as normally I'd do. I thanked him for having the girls. I wished him a good day tomorrow as he's back at work. He told me a bit more about what he's doing tomorrow and Wednesday.
His best friend's wife came round and she had an EA and her marriage is on the verge of collapsing and she wanted H's number. Then I mentioned it to H and he asked me why. Told him and he said that he was going to meet his best friend for a drink. I was surprised he told what he was doing tonight. I already knew as his mate's wife told me anyway.
So pleased to hear you've had a good day Rouky and achieved most of the goals you set. Well done for not saying anything to H about being late. A 180?!
I would be interested to hear from a man point's of view. H is living with OW, but on the anniversary of her death H spent the evening with his best friend instead of OW. I know men and women think differently, but my point is that because of the importance of this anniversary, shouldn't he be spending it with the person he loves and supports him (is OW) than his best friend?.
Before he was gone, I remember him telling me that he talked a lot about his mum to OW, so logically he should be with her on such an important time.
Sorry, not a man's perspective but was just wondering how long ago your H's mum died as my H's mum died in February of this year and I think it has a lot to do with what is happening now as he completely bottled up his grief.
I would have thought you'd want to spend the anniversary of the death with the one you love too, for some support, but obviously that's another woman's opinion so same as your own opinion! Hope one of the men on the board can help here.
His mum died 6 years ago but there was a lot of unresolved issues between the two of them and he never got the chance to apologise to her for how he treated her when he was with his first partner. Basically he is reproducing the same now with me ( he cut himself from his family).
If a gent could chime in, I'd greatly appreciate. Does it mean that he might not be into OW that much? I know I'm trying to mind read but if it was me, for such an occasion, I'd like to be with the person I'm in love with.
One man's opinion. Your husband is living to please himself and no one else including the woman that he has left you for. I doubt that the death of his mother is really all that important to him. At this point in life he is not behaving in the manner that a normal healthy man would. Therefore stop thinking about him and start thinking about yourself! I know how hard it is because I am also still struggling to let go of that rope. This is your chance to do some hard work but you have to "Take back control of your life" this includes getting control of the things that rule your thoughts (your husband).
I feel like giving you some tough love Rouky so I hope that you know that I still love you. However it is quite evident that he is still ruling your emotions and it keeps you from growing. Don't be mad at me for saying this but you can't do anything about his maniacal behavior as I can do nothing about the behavior of my wife. They have lost their minds and we are the good people so lets start taking care of ourselves.
Please let today be the day that you get back to DB. It has really saved me and it will save you. Again I love you and want the best for you and this is working for me and a lot of us here. Get back to the strong Rouky that I know that you are!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
I know that I need so tough love and only you can say this to me without being angry. You are my inner voice Shotgun. You are right, he has still has too much importance in my life and it shouldn't be this way. He saked me as his wife, so why do I still bother thinking about him?
I guess fear of being in my own for the rest of my life.
but was just wondering how long ago your H's mum died as my H's mum died in February of this year and I think it has a lot to do with what is happening now as he completely bottled up his grief.