Updated/still thinking about next steps

[kyrie]

Zues kindly referred me back to here from "Thinking About It" forum - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2634487#Post2634487
He summarized things pretty well, "Looks like you came here in the Summer, H was having an EA or possibly a PA, you are still living together, he denied it forever and then rug swept, is still addicted and depressed, and is blaming you for everything."

This Christmas, I made sure to get him a few things which I knew he wanted, he purchased a bunch of expensive items on his own as well. I did so without any expectations (but really, who doesn't want a gift??). I haven't said anything... but I have to admit I'm a bit pissed that he didn't even get one thing for me. Not surprised. It's been like that all year. At least, things weren't hostile most of the time until today, now that the break is over and I went back to work. I got a pissy email that "nothing changes" which is what he's said for months now.
I think that may be some effort to exact *more* effort out of me.
To review, I've tried detatching, backing off, GAL, etc. Maybe not 100% consistent - it's tough when he seems to soften and reach out; he seems to want to get past this & get piecing, etc. But then this depression/pathology rears its ugly head & it comes roaring back to bitter blaming, lashing out and pissy-ness towards me. No trigger - it just happens. Which leads me to think that I just need to quit altogether.