By the way, I am just curious if your h has yet indicated that he knows what happened to him? I know he is seeing a therapist. Has he hinted that this was a MLC or even a weird depression? I know he has told you that he is trying to figure out why he made the decisions he made but I am not sure he has pinned a name to it all?
His therapist has told him this is called Mid Life Transition, which I believe is a nicer way of saying MLC. He has also said this is not depression as he is able to function in his daily life (ie, work, hobbies, running a home) which people in depression tend not to be able to do as every part of life becomes overwhelming, where as he is battling with overwhelming feelings and thoughts.
He has said he will open up more as he learns how to, plus he does not want to talk about things that are happening in his head right now as they may not be here to stay, they may only be transient issues, I understand this, why tell me something that could potentially harm "us" when it may not actually be a part of him that stays. I do know some of the topics that are going on inside him, they are very messed up, to the point I am not sure I would want to be with him if they are staying -
Control seems to be a big one. He NEEDS to be in control. He uses control and manipulation at work, its why he is fantastic at his job and he earns the big bucks, but he brings it into his relationships and that causes him to damage them. Losing control over his thoughts/feelings has manifested into other things,so the theory is to make sense of his feelings/thoughts and learn how to let go of control and then all the issues that have come along as a result should fade.
Trying to put us back together before he has done this spells disaster. He knows that therapy will need to be a continual part of his life so he can have an outlet to talk about his feelings in a safe place and to have sanity checks that what he is thinking is normal.
