H seduced by old crush the night before our wedding. Carries on secret correspondence with her first 6 mos. Remorseful when discovered and our relationship seems solid.
16 years and 3 kids into the marriage, ex has an affair with a temp coworker. This only lasts a few months as affair is quickly discovered, affair partner figures out he lied about the state of his marriage and she moves to a new assignment in another city.
I DB my butt off, do careful self inventory, make changes, marriage reconciled and we actually have several excellent years.
H approaches 50, has career setback, last 2 of 6 concussions just 2 weeks apart, and asks for divorce. (In retrospect I suspect flirtations or casual affair at that time).
We divorced, he dated for a few months then met 33 y.o. to whom he is now married (I'm grateful she is not an OW). I dated for a few years then met tall, dark and handsome BF who treats me like a princess. 7 years since we split, afyer 26 years together.
What I've seen since: there may have been other flirtations or infidelities that I didn't know about. We always did what HE wanted, and he devalued my interests. He was more concerned with how I, and the kids, made HIM look. He could never be satisfied, I was never thin enough (even when underweight!) or athletic enough, and he always had a chip on his shoulder that he thought I was smarter than him (really, equivalent intelligences, just differing types).
Luckily I am pretty confident so his crticisms didn't destroy me like they might some.
I learned to play the drums when he left and now play in a pop punk band.
Best thing I learned in all of this- take risks and live fully.
