Time to make changes

[joss]

Hi KML. Thanks for giving me a bit of feedback and words of enqouragement- regarding throwing my husband out after his EA for 5 years. I'm glad I did it, but now I think he thinks I did it because I hate him and am glad to be rid of him (I am glad to be rid of the heartache and stress, but of course I wish it could have been different!)

Now...IF you think you want him back, you can give him a roadmap of how to get there.

I'm not sure what 'a roadmap' for this situation would even look like. I would be very interested to hear what you advise??? I am aware that if he wants me back, he has to do all of the work. After all, he knows where to find me!

So far it sounds like you're getting words but no actions.

I'm not even getting any words. Just a few reminiscing thought as to how we used to be.

Yes, this has elements of MLC. But continuing the affair for FIVE YEARS while he knew that you knew and were hurt by it?

Yes, this is difficult for me to come to terms with, however I did enable it. sigh....

I am sorry to hear about your situation. HOw long did that all go on for? It sounds quite drawn out, too. It's unbelieveable what we have to put up with, isn't it?

I don't recognise any narcisistic traits from pre affair, but I am learning to recognise a lot of things over time (and with headspace) so who knows what I;ll realise somewhere down the line). Thanks for the heads-up, though.

regarding the kids; it seems to be working well at the moment in that they can go around to his apartment by themselves whenever they want, so that has seemed to lessen the devestation for them (I think?). Again, time will tell....

many thanks. joss