Yesterday's gone. Tomorrow's not here... (2)

[Vanilla]

A lot of things make sense if you are the child of an alcoholic, they absolutely do.

Have you read the Janet Woititz’s book, Adult Children Of Alcoholics?

She lists 13 characteristics of these children, commonalities that link. 10% of children live or have lived with at least one alcohol abusing parent and 3% are alcohol dependent. An unlucky half percent have two parents affected. (Figures from the FIX a website I subscribe to because of WH gambling addiction).

Truly shocking.

Damaging beyond belief, of course if the parent recovers and atones the irony is the children are more resilient not less.

Go figure.

The thirteen characteristics are
1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.
2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.
5. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.
6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.
7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.
8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.
9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.
11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.
12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

So do any of these apply to you?

What impact has this had on your life?

Any impact on your R?

Did dad ever recover or atone?

As always you can say I don't want to answer.


For the lurker amoung us these characteristics are said to apply to children of all addicts and abused children, those from care and child carers of HIV parents. It is very tough to be child in these circumstances. So this book is absolutely wonderful for help us have insight into behaviour. I am using the list for my PTSD recovery. I am not a child of this but a recovering abuse target.

V