Was he physically abusive too? No, He never touched me.
Turns every conversation to himself No
Ignores the impact of his negative comments on you Yes
Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you Yes but not constantly
Expects you to jump at his every need No
Is overly involved with his own hobbies, interests or addictions ignoring your needs No but worked a lot
Has high need for attention No
Is closed minded about own mistakes. Yes
Can’t handle criticism and gets angry to shut it off Yes
Threatens to abandon you if you don’t go along with what he wants No
Ignores your feelings and calls you overly sensitive or touchy if you express feelings No
Tells you how you should feel or not feel No
Cannot listen to you and cannot allow your opinions No
Is more interested in his own concerns and interests than yours Yes
Is unable to see things from your view other than his own Yes
Wants to control what you do and say-tries to micromanage you Yes to control, No to micromanage
Attempts to make you feel stupid, helpless and inept when you do things on your own No
Has poor insight and cannot see the impact his selfish behavior has on you Yes
The first thing to ask is when you remember your father and one of these incidents are you still as the child in the picture? Or as an observer? Observer
What do you see of him, his face, body, is your mother there too? His whole body, mother not there, most of my memories are a brief image and hearing his words, verbally abusing me or verbally abusing mother as she ran defense for me or my sisters.
Is he close or far away? Far away
Is he in colour and moving towards or away from you? no color, staionary,
Do you have a picture of yourself at about the age of your father's worst criticisms? I was a fun loving kid who was independent, athletic and smart. I was ashamed of the way my father behaved, yelling, profanity, hitting dog, hit mother once.
I used to recall a lot more of my childhood but it's so long ago that I don't remember particular events. I remember themes of his behavior, impatience, swearing, fighting with mother, doing what he wanted, he worked-his money, blah blah blah.
