Hi Gmum - just checking in on you. I'm pretty glum, too, if that helps at all. I never wanted any of this. I'm still in shock it's happening at all.
That said, though, I'm getting to a point where I realize what I want in life. An H who doesn't put me first? Not something I want. I was used to it, could probably have gone on forever that way, but I wasn't fulfilled or happy.
Now? I have a choice. I can be as selfish as H, and just focus on me. What do I want? What do I want to accomplish? Where did the girl he married disappear to during the M?
I'm working on the answer to those questions - and learning a lot about myself in the process. I don't like the situation, but in a lot of ways - it's making me better. It's bringing the real me back to the surface. I'm making decisions about what I will and will not be willing to put up with in the future. These are all positives...and I wouldn't even have thought about them at all if it weren't for H and his upsetting the apple cart that was our M.
I'm not to the point of thanking him. But I am to the point of being able to look ahead and seeing some good things for me coming out of it.
What do you see? What are you going to make it a priority to gain from this? Who are you, Gmum? What are you going to be?
2016 is almost here! We've got lots to look forward to. H can catch up or forever regret his decision - but we? We will be just fine.
