I am sorry that the schedule for contact with your children is not working out. I know I am likely preaching a bit, but it has long been my impression that STBX takes advantage of your willing and compromising nature.
If STBX had Christmas, why are you not having NY Eve or Day? Surely there is room for compromise. Do you have some worry about putting your wants and wishes out there with STXW?
To be frank I think feeling short changed is probably a reasonable response to losing time with your kids. However if you are not asking for what you want more often then you are leaving yourself open to not feeling good. Please don't do that to yourself.
The trips sound good, something to look forward to and creating memories for you children.
I wish you were having an easier road U. All I can do is encourage you to come by and post more. You really don't have to carry this alone. I do wonder if this is pattern of behaviour, where you isolate and shut down in times of stress and crisis, and merely survive.
U it is so unnecessary to face this all alone. I have thought for sometime now that letting other's love, help and support you seems like such a hard thing for you to accept or ask for. Is this my assumption or something that might true? Is this something that didn't work for you in your relationships/work?
