Do not tell her: show her. Do, not say. If you know nice words upset her, don't tell her that. Just show that you care for her in ACTIONS, not words.
Remember, she is angry at you after all those years, and likely to be thinking "too little, too late." So you only can hope that she will notice the change in you and eventually change her own mind.
And be very consistent in your change. You are not changing for her, you are changing for yourself, to be a better person. If that helps her realize that you two might have a future, great.
Check BillM's old threads in Newcomers: he managed to make his W love him again but it took a long time and a lot of patience.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
