I have written elsewhere that I recently found out my STBX-FIL has a serious heart condition that appeared on a scan several months ago but went undiagnosed until November.
Basically, if the wrong thing happened, he could die within minutes. Should be having surgery very soon.
I have been purposely keeping my distance from the ILs because I didn't want to make things awk for them; I wasn't sure if I could keep my composure (by crying) when seeing them; etc.
Hearing this, though, I immediately called to check on him and asked if I could come see them after Xmas when STBXW had already left. They were very interested and asked me to come over for breakfast and a visit.
I felt pretty strong going over there. I haven't seen them since September when we went on vacation together. I've had my act mostly together for the past couple of months regarding accepting the D, etc.
As soon as they hugged me I cried. Excused myself to the bathroom to regain my composure as I didn't want to burden them with the unexpected grief. As I've said elsewhere, I've grown very close to them over the years, and for the last many years have seen them as often as I can. I have spent more time with them than their other daughter to be sure, and they and I are very similar in our views (religion, politics, life, etc.).
Had a very nice visit though, about 3 hours beginning with breakfast. Kept any discussions off of the D and their daughter of course. Asked STBX-MIL to keep me updated on FILs condition and let me know if I could help with anything.
My parents live a couple miles away from them, so I was nearby anyway. My kids were at the ILs day after Xmas and saw my XW there briefly. Then they came back here and spent the rest of their time with us. It was surprisingly more difficult than I expected knowing the whole family was over there, however briefly, and I couldn't be.
That used to be my family too. The sense of loss (that I'd thought I'd put behind me) is back again, and huge right now.
