How do I let go to the point that either W notices and comes back, or that I can move forward and not be concerned with her?
A Sufi teaching tells of the man who visited a great mystic to find out how to let go of his chains of attachment and his prejudices. Instead of answering him directly, the mystic jumped to his feet and bolted to a nearby pillar, flung his arms around it, grasping the marble surface as he screamed, "Save me from this pillar! Save me from this pillar!" The man who had asked the question could not believe what he saw. He thought the mystic was mad. The shouting soon brought a crowd of people. "Why are you doing that?" the man asked. "I came to you to ask a spiritual question because I thought you were wise, but obviously you're crazy. You are holding the pillar, the pillar is not holding you. You can simply let go." The mystic let go of the pillar and said to the man, "If you can understand that, you have your answer. Your chains of attachment are not holding you, you are holding them. You can simply let go."
Is the fact that I stood for our M, even while she treated me like dirt a strength or a weakness.
Why put a label on it? Can it not be both? You are both, you are neither, you just are.
My feeling of betrayal and the stupid amount of hope keep me tied to her. I need to drop this rope.
You will drop it when your ready. You may pick it up and drop it repeatedly. It is an evolution, this is no small task.
W is not the woman I married now. May never be again.
The same can be said about you, me, everyone. Life is change, life is a struggle. Your wife, you and everyone else will never be the same, how could we be? What do you do with this understanding matters.
I miss the life I had, we had. The boys. The house. Cuddling on the couch. Everything. I miss the W I knew for 10 years. I miss married life.
Reflection is good but it is unhealthy to live in the past.
Still trying to find my way as a single, part time dad. It's awkward. Boring.
Eat life dday don't let it eat you.
GAL & with a PMA are your path, start stepping into the here and now
