Finally! 2015 is coming to an end. :-)

[inpain]

inpain - you are correct in your guess that H does not look too happy at the moment. In his mind, it's MY fault, because I'm still in the picture. He is going to be in for such a shock when I'm out of the picture, and his life doesn't miraculously change for the better.

Yes,that is so true Ancaire! It is so sad that they think they will be happy because they have not looked inwards and realised that they need to change themselves too. One of the reasons I want to shove DR into H's hands so badly!

It's frustrating because I feel like he knows this. We've talked about it in the past! But whatever this MLC is, it's powerful. He can't even remember discussions we've had, and his version of history is very, very different from mine. All normal from what I understand.

I understand how frustrating this is for you! I'm right there with you on this frustration. We haven't had any loving interactions for a long time until our holiday this August when H took me in his arms and kissed me when we were sight seeing. I was blown away by it and thrilled that we could get back on track. H cannot even remember it!?!?!?! He can remember all the bits leading up to that moment and all the bits after that moment on that trip, but not that kiss. Crazy!!!! MWD does say they will re-write history and they certainly do. It is so frustrating! My H says, "I'm sure you're not lying about it happening but I honestly can't remember it."

Now I'm back to wishing I'd been a better wife, so that he never had to get to this point. I don't blame myself for all of it, no, please don't think that. But I do take full ownership of my share of the problems. Hindsight is crystal clear and unforgiving. But it also provides me a pretty good map of what I need to work on.

Me too. You are an amazing person for being able to look at yourself and be honest about your part in it and an even better person for wanting to do something about it! If only our Hs could see themselves as clearly.

Don't give up on your H, inpain. Just let him do what he thinks he needs to for now. The only way he'll learn is by trying and failing, and then he WILL appreciate you. Right now? Nope. So, you work on you - and let him mess up his own life.

You are right. It is so incredibly hard to do when it is sadly not just his own life he is messing up. Mine OK, I feel he is entitled to do that but our children's lives? No. I'm not sure I can get to a place that forgives him for changing our children's lives forever.

I just like to vent here so I don't turn around and do it IRL. THAT would be a disaster - one I've already learned the hard way...LOL

At least you have learned it Ancaire! You are doing well with it. I need more practice here I feel lol!