inpain - you are correct in your guess that H does not look too happy at the moment. In his mind, it's MY fault, because I'm still in the picture. He is going to be in for such a shock when I'm out of the picture, and his life doesn't miraculously change for the better.
I'm trying to get the kids to be willing to forgive him. I just plan to stay out of his way and work on myself. But I believe that the happiness he is sure he will find once I'm out of the picture is going to be so very elusive.
It's frustrating because I feel like he knows this. We've talked about it in the past! But whatever this MLC is, it's powerful. He can't even remember discussions we've had, and his version of history is very, very different from mine. All normal from what I understand.
Now I'm back to wishing I'd been a better wife, so that he never had to get to this point. I don't blame myself for all of it, no, please don't think that. But I do take full ownership of my share of the problems. Hindsight is crystal clear and unforgiving. But it also provides me a pretty good map of what I need to work on.
Don't give up on your H, inpain. Just let him do what he thinks he needs to for now. The only way he'll learn is by trying and failing, and then he WILL appreciate you. Right now? Nope. So, you work on you - and let him mess up his own life.
I just like to vent here so I don't turn around and do it IRL. THAT would be a disaster - one I've already learned the hard way...LOL
