My sixth thread was titled "kavikratu" which means one who possesses wisdom or sacrifices, full of discernment, having wise designs, having the insight of a wise man or fully wise insight.
The name I have chosen to title this thread is the Sanskrit word "Ksanti".
It is the practice of exercising patience toward behavior or situations that might not necessarily deserve it and is seen as a conscious choice to actively give patience as if a gift, rather than being in a state of oppression in which one feels obligated to act in such a way. see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ksanti
Starting another thread, they seem to get to 100 quicker and quicker each time. I have some observations on my situation but I'll post them tomorrow morning when I'm fresh. Be well
Mu, i look forward to your new threads. The names and meanings attached are very fun for me to learn about. I can tell you put much thought into them. You teach me so much.
And they do get to 100 so much quicker lately! Holidays, movement in our sitchs, or?
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Hi dday, for me the threads finish quicker for two reasons. I'm less guarded in my thoughts now because we're all friends and the second is I'm not the emotional basket case I was when I first got here.
The thread title naming just happened. I try to find a name that is related to where I am in now and will be in the next few weeks.
Truthfully when I saw your last thread had over 100 views I too was excited. I knew when I read your thread title and what it meant I would stop and think," Oh wow, Mutatio picked another good one....I'm going to have to meditate on that for a while."
I hope you are professor or teacher in your non DB board life as the country that I live in is in desperate need of wisdom like yours.
Here's to the subtle shift in your W continuing as you grow throughout this next thread Mutatio.
You are a great asset to this board and a wonderful man.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Hi Gmum, I am glad to play a role in your enlightenment. I do not have the wisdom to create these thoughts. I am simply holding my torch so that you can see them. Please comment on any of my posts sometimes I lose my way on the path.
Hey hey PP, read my last post on my last thread, there you will find the answer to your post's wish.
The subtle shift in my wife's has continued. I have adjusted to this new normal. It is relieving to know that she is not so tense and guarded in her self imposed exile. A chance physical encounter with her cooking on Christmas Day reinforces my belief that she is not warming to me but more comfortable and less guarded with her choice. I will take credit for some of her evolution to this point since my behavior played a part in her disposition.
My wife backed up while cooking as I was walking by. When she did and the back of her upper arm slowly bumped into my forearm. She jerked forward like I was on fire. My first thought was that her skin is so soft, it felt so good. I truly miss her. It appears that she does not want to have any physical contact with me. I accept that this is how she feels and will respect it. It is disappointing for me but expectable.
So I am married to a woman who is trying to decide if she wants to divorce me, does not love me, does not wear her ring, sleeps in a different bed but now seems relaxed enough to talk briefly with me. The glass is half full. I sit here smiling.
I'm not completely caught up on your situation, but I believe Sandi wrote something about returning to the R, but not wanting any kind of physical touch and just being very angry still. Might resonate with you.
Yes it does Gmum. This is where she is, life is change and she is evolving. All I can do is behave in a kind and compassionate way and hope she chooses a life that includes me.
At this time I will live well, treating myself and my family with kindness. This is my goal, this is my purpose
Wow. W is talking to you? Not ignoring you? Mutatio, that is HUGE progress! I remember getting so frustrated on your behalf that you had to put up with that. Yet, you patiently waited through it, DBing to the best of your ability, and look at the result! I am blown away.
Once again, you remind me to slow down, be patient, and wait for life to unfold as it must. I've got so much I'm working on in any case. Were H to suddenly "wake up" I might stop the work I'm doing, and that would be a shame. I know I'm improving in ways that can only be to the benefit of not only myself, but everyone around me. I'm working on becoming the best version of myself, and that will take time.
It's hard to keep that in mind sometimes, when H's actions are killing me inside. Do I like knowing he's with someone else? Might as well stick another knife in my heart. Is there anything I can do about it? Absolutely not. THAT, right there, is why I need to continue forward in this journey.
Forgiveness is going to be essential, and I'm not certain I can extend it selflessly. Until I can, it's best that we stay apart.
Once again, I am so impressed by your steady, loving, patience and the changes you have wrought in your situation. You are such a wonderful man. Your wife is blessed, indeed, and I hope the day comes soon when she awakens to that fact.
