Hello all I am here to celebrate having survived Christmas Day and I am still standing and breathing. Who ever dreamed that the celebration of the birth of a redeemer for all of humanity could be so painful? Just when I thought that I was on solid footing I suffer one of the worst days yet. For a day I was right back to the helpless feelings and the feeling that time is standing still.
It helped a little that S13 seemed OK with everything. He and I took a long drive and were able to talk about some things and it seemed to go well. I am stronger now and I intend to be a better father and told him so. I know that he needs for me to be strong and thanks to my counselor, my meds and all of my friends here I will be able to.
It helped too that a couple of cute girls texted pictures of themselves to me. I asked my son how he would feel if I went on a date with a girl and he didn't respond. He doesn't know that his mother is dating. I'll not be the one to tell him.
More family coming this afternoon and it is going to be fun. No presents just each other and some good food. I am very blessed to have my family. I wish that I could bring you all here where my sisters and cousins would hold you all as they have me and take the pain from your heart. It is true love and sadly I for a long time thought that it was something else. I do however know the truth and going forward it is incumbent upon me to find that in my next lady friend. Happy New Year to you all and here's to a fantastic 2016!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
