Oh Rouky this is so hard. As far as I have come Christmas was still very hard. Just when everything seems to have leveled out these highly emotional days come around. I feel like your mood swings are pretty extreme and I hope that you are talking to your counselor about them. My discussions with counselor led me down the path to Prozac. There are some physical issues with me that made it a good treatment. Maybe you don't need any drugs for this but you do need help from your counselor. It must be very difficult to be alone this time of year as I at least have my family and am surrounded by people who love me. Maybe you can visualize everyone who has posted on your thread the last couple of days surrounding you and giving you hugs. Believe me when I say that we all cry with you and want nothing more than to comfort you.
What can you do to make yourself stop thinking so much about your husband and the OW? From where I sit they kind of deserve each other. You are way to good of a catch for your husband and there are a lot of us guys who would love to treat you like the prize that you are. There are plenty of us out here who would suffer any pain for you given the chance. You just have to realize how special that you are and never settle for anything less.
Sometimes you will have to find a distraction to take you away from the thoughts of your husband and how he feels about your marriage. His thoughts are wrong and you have allowed him to tear you down and are not seeing the wonderful person that you really are. Take a good look in the mirror and notice a pretty and smart lady who is a wonderful mother and a girl that some man will pick up and carry away when the time is right.
Hang tough Rouky as this too shall pass. The ancient celebrations of the Winter Solstice were in anticipation of lengthening days and warm sunshine to come. You are going to be OK because you are strong! Praying for you always.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
