Oh Rouky, I keep asking myself that: how is it possible to love someone so selfish, who would file for D on freaking Christmas etc..

I notice in your last paragraph you list all of the positive changes you have made. Focus on those. That's my lifeline at the moment. I like myself better now as opposed to the angry turd I was pre DB. At least I got that.

Hope you had a nice time at your SILs house.