Hmm... Ended up having a nice night.
D had a blast opening presents. Pretty much everything was for her. Only thing for me was an envelope from ex mil with $100, that H was supposed to have given me before Christmas, so I could buy myself something.
There were two presents for H. One was a small thing, the other a cashmere sweater. He seemed embarrassed there was nothing for me. Kept saying he couldn't remember where I usually get facials etc (as if that's something I do on a regular basis or something)
But he liked the sweater.

Today we went out and did somewhat touristy things with D. On our way there he asked me if it was ok if he was gone the next few days. Sure enough I checked and I could see a large charge for plane tickets to the hub btw here and OWs state. Took a screen shot. Now I'm just waiting for the charges to the fancy hotel.
Not that it really matters but at least I know .... I guess

He kept on talking about the sales and do I want or need something, new shoes anything?!? Somebody feeling guilty haha.

Later we went to a restaurant and had drinks and like the amazing parents we seem to be, handed D the iPad.

I started talking about the future and things that need to happen and it was actually really nice. I think we can actually agree on stuff. I feel oddly relieved. And very very sad.
If you love something, let it go, right? There's nothing I can do to lessen his interest in OW. He's in love. It breaks my heart, but I can only focus on myself and D.

Him leaving me forced me to reevaluate many things in my life and about myself and I can honestly say that I like the person I am today a lot better. And I'm not even close to being done transforming. I'm much nicer, less judgemental and more forgiving of myself and others. Without him leaving, I would still be a sad, scared little mouse.
That doesn't mean that I'm ok or even close to being ok. It just means that I know I will be. One day.

I also had a margarita with H and several glasses of wine before he left, so I'll reserve the right to retract the above PMA as I please.

Thank you and goodnight.