dday, getting out of the muck

[dday]

Boys just called me to wish me a merry Christmas and tell me that they love me. W xw stbxw got on the phone and told me about their gifts and when she would drop them off to me. Wished me a merry Christmas, in that special tone of voice that was always reserved for me. That way you only talk to your spouse. It felt awesome and hurts at the same time.

No expectations. Maybe there is hope for us yet someday.

I instantly teared up when I hung up the phone. Asked God why it has to be this way.

When I dropped the boys off last night, they wanted me to watch them open their "brothers gifts". First time I have been in the house in over a month. W looked great, just jeans and a tshirt, nothing special. I miss that girl so much.
Christmas morning alone is rough.