Will do! I really don't plan to speak with him at all, other than a "hello", perhaps. I've got lots of children he should be busy with, since they are the reason he found himself the lucky recipient of an invitation to join his family.
I haven't spoken with him for over a week now! I'm really proud of that fact. A few text exchanges for important information - but when he's attempted to bait me via text, I just use the powerful weapon called IGNORE.
IGNORE is my new weapon as well. A couple of weeks ago I received a snarky, "thanks for replying" in response to me not acknowledging a text he sent. I did not reply because there was no real need to. Funny how they don't like the same treatment that they dish out.
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I'm certain I will be just fine - but if my blood starts to boil for any reason, I plan to come here and vent here, first. That alone could have saved me so much heartache in the past. I learn from my mistakes. No reacting! Aloof, yet kind - I feel good with that plan.
This sounds like a great plan. I will pop in online on Christmas and check in.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
Thanks Mona and BT! I plan to have a really fun day. I will not let H bring me down. I plan to be as warm and happy with the kids as normal, but have nothing much to say to H. That will be new for him, and I hope it stings!
I really want him to see just what it is he's destroying by refusing to go to MC. I won't stay M to him without it. I hope we all have a great day, and he is haunted through the rest of the holiday. I feel a real sense of peace about this plan. I know I can do it.
Again, though, if my blood starts to boil for any reason, I plan to excuse myself for a minute, come log in, and vent about it here, rather than exploding. I'm usually so calm, but something about H has always had me feeling powerful emotions, no matter what they are at the moment. I just remember the old him so well, and have such a longing for that version to return. Who knows?
Maybe getting one last look at the family he is destroying will cause him to think - I'm not setting any real hopes for that, but I bet he winds up thinking about it a lot after this, when none of us are together anymore. I plan to be a ghost after the holidays. He will not see me or hear me.
I will be busy GAL and moving on. I believe all of you when you tell me that is the best way forward, even though it goes against every instinct I have. He's going to be stuck with affair-down after affair-down, while I better myself and learn lessons I've needed to learn for a while.
While I was typing this, H knocked on my door, and we had a brief interaction. He was looking for something that used to be in our room before I moved him out. I reminded him that he took it away several weekends ago. Maybe he left it at OW's. LOL Anyways, the interaction was pleasant and calm. I was warmly aloof. Getting my practice in.
I have a good feeling about how tomorrow is going to go.
Judy. Big Sis. Merry Christmas! You have helped me immensely through the worst time of my life. Thank you isn't enough. I hope you have a great time with the kids!
Enjoy it, you need it
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I have news! For some reason, H chickened out. He won't be coming. You can all breathe easy now. The kids and I will have a wonderful time without him. I don't know why he backed out - OW, fear of being drawn back in, or guilt - don't really care, other than I'm missing an opportunity to show him what he's losing. Oh, well. Time will probably make that point far better for me than one evening with me walking around on eggshells!
So, tomorrow? Just me and my children, children-in-laws, and girlfriends. I am so very happy, and am really looking forward to tomorrow now more than ever.
I did extend an invitation. The kids are aware and appreciative. H and I had 2 brief, but pleasant interactions today. I'm pleased with myself for being true to who I am, but thankful that I get to relax and have fun. It did pay off to be nice this time.
