Lonely Hearts Club II

[shotgun]

Hello to you all and Merry Christmas. There will be no snow here for it but the weather outside is beautiful! Each day since December 22 we gain two minutes of daylight at my location each day. I intend to look at this as two more minutes closer to a new Spring and a new more fulfilling and peaceful life. All of the hard work in counseling and DB has began to create a new me and returned the great parts of me that I gave up for my marriage. It is depressing to think about the first Christmas as a broken family but it is also another step through the pain that will take me to healing and health. I have kind of taken this day to rest and to grieve a little but I think that I have earned it. I did go to the gym and had a fantastic workout. Pretty sore but getting stronger each day. Growing my hair out and wearing my cowboy boots these days as my wife hated both of those things! I am getting back to me and the way that I like to look and to live. Making a few new friends and reconnecting with others. Plenty of single ladies have shown interest and I am trying to navigate being in the dating scene again. It is very awkward but kind of fun at the same time. More members of wife's family have reached out to me recently and have been very kind. They are encouraging me to hang on and to not give up on the marriage but I just don't know what my wife could do to convince me to try it again. A lot of water has flown under the bridge and she still has all of the rubbish in her life. (I love the term rubbish and use it in honor of my friend Rouky!) I can't imagine that she would give up the alcohol and the partying and hanging with the unsavory people that she has chosen to include in her life. I now recognize that that was a part of our marriage that I hated but tolerated to try to keep the peace. Praying for everyone so unfortunate to be here but thankful to have you all. God Bless!