I am going through something similar. I want so badly for husband to feel the loss. And I am aware that the holidays are a time for that. It is the part of me that I am not very proud of. I can justify it, but then 10 minutes later I think how bad I would feel if something happened to husband..like a serious illness etc.
Another fear I have is what if once christmas passes, husband thinks, "ok I got through the worse...I can make it through the rest. No problem"
I know, I think too much.
Merry Christmas, hope you and your children have a wonderful holiday.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
