Back on these forums again 5

[Mona52]

Another day of abusing this poor board, but it is Christmas eve, and stress levels are kinda high for me.

I did not really post about it too much when he said it, but the other day my H posted that I kept going from nice to mean. I posted the exchange on here, it was when he was pressuring me for a D.

That statement bothered me a lot more than I posted here. He acts like out of no where, I am just mean to him. First I am going to defend myself here so I don't do it with him.

When I get angry, it is not out of the blue. He was lying to my face almost every day. The pope would be angry living with that! He also broke promises constantly. I counted on him to do what he promised and time and time again he just never even attempted to do it. Of Course I got mad!

Ok, defending myself is over. next I want to 'job' this. (what would job say) lol

He is in crisis and he cant remember clearly. He has to blame me so he does not feel more depressed over what he is doing. Don't criticize him and don't believe anything he tells you...

Now I want to change my actions to not let him have to worry about this again. It is actions, not words that will show him. So, until anger can be used as a tool for good, to get something I need done accomplished, I need to not show anger. I just re-read the light house story and I will feel best about myself if I can be a lighthouse. Not a mother who gets mad when he is bad.

I can set boundaries and protect myself from him lying and all of that without using anger. My Irish ancestors are turning over right now... I love a good fight and a great make-up, but I can live without it.

Now I need to let this go. It is over. He showed me a problem. I agree it could be better, I know what I need to do moving forward, now I can kick this persistent annoying though from my mind