Thanks Mona and BT! I plan to have a really fun day. I will not let H bring me down. I plan to be as warm and happy with the kids as normal, but have nothing much to say to H. That will be new for him, and I hope it stings!
I really want him to see just what it is he's destroying by refusing to go to MC. I won't stay M to him without it. I hope we all have a great day, and he is haunted through the rest of the holiday. I feel a real sense of peace about this plan. I know I can do it.
Again, though, if my blood starts to boil for any reason, I plan to excuse myself for a minute, come log in, and vent about it here, rather than exploding. I'm usually so calm, but something about H has always had me feeling powerful emotions, no matter what they are at the moment. I just remember the old him so well, and have such a longing for that version to return. Who knows?
Maybe getting one last look at the family he is destroying will cause him to think - I'm not setting any real hopes for that, but I bet he winds up thinking about it a lot after this, when none of us are together anymore. I plan to be a ghost after the holidays. He will not see me or hear me.
I will be busy GAL and moving on. I believe all of you when you tell me that is the best way forward, even though it goes against every instinct I have. He's going to be stuck with affair-down after affair-down, while I better myself and learn lessons I've needed to learn for a while.
While I was typing this, H knocked on my door, and we had a brief interaction. He was looking for something that used to be in our room before I moved him out. I reminded him that he took it away several weekends ago. Maybe he left it at OW's. LOL Anyways, the interaction was pleasant and calm. I was warmly aloof. Getting my practice in.
I have a good feeling about how tomorrow is going to go.
