Back on these forums again 5

[Mona52]

Thanks Judy!! I tried to forget, but there are so many kids underfoot!

My H texted me this morning.

H: Yes. I will pick them up and take them home.

Me: You are the best!

Me: (Immediately after I sent the last text) OK, have a good day

H: Thx you too

I am not out of the woods yet, but I think the worst is over. Because I told the kids last night. I was only going to tell them that he got them no gifts, not that he was not going to see them, but I spoke to it with my S's IC last night and he suggested I warn the kids about both.

So I told the kids that H is struggling financially and was not able to get them any presents. I said he feels so bad that he might not even come over, but that does not mean he does not love them.

So, of course, he tells me he is coming...

But listen to what my D15 said yesterday.

I was talking to them about their father and I said that even though all of this is happening, I dont ever want them to think for a second that they are unloved or unwanted. I asked , "What would I have to do on Christmas day to make you feel unloved and unwanted?"

Immediately she answered "You got me no presents" (This I expected her to say) "And you spent no time with me"(Wow... that was the hard part.)

I can explain away him not getting presents, but not even seeing them would have been a harder sell. I said he felt really ashamed about the presents. I asked them if they thought they did something really bad to someone else, wouldn't it be very hard to see that person? They said yes. I told them he is in a crisis right now and he has trouble doing normal things and very hard things are impossible for him right now. But he still loves them very much.

But enough about him...

Tomorrow is Christmas! It will be bitter sweet to everyone here. It will be a hard day to get through, no matter who you are or how detached you think you are.

I am so excited to get out of town and spend some time with Chris and forget all about real life for Christmas. 9 times out of 10 I will pick excited over in pain any day
So my PMA is flying right now. He barely said 2 words to me all week. I will ask him why tomorrow. I sent him a text last night and he answered, but only briefly. But, it is nice that he is a man of few words, because I can keep the R friendly, but at arms length easier this way.