Bright, Sounds like you navigated your midlife transition very well and didn't go off the rails. This is a very good thing because it indicates that you can cope and deal w/anything that comes your way.
I'm glad you like the person you are today. That is all that matters.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
