Hi Mona! I'm here to reinforce your determination to NOT save H this time. I know it's hard, believe me. I understand what it's like to love someone who is absolutely toxic for you right now.
You said it best when you stated you were giving him the gift of self-respect. Some people get so used to using others, they forget that they are perfectly capable of doing things for themselves. Your H is one of those. Help him by NOT helping him. He needs to remember HIS role as dad. That's his job, not yours.
I know you worry about your kids, but don't. Do as job suggested and let them know about Dad's circumstances. You can pave the way for a fun Christmas without completely rushing in to save the day. Your kids will be fine. I think he needs to feel the burn of reality. I didn't offer to help H shop for our kids, although it's been my job for the past 21 years. Why would I? He left us. He needs to remember how to be a dad all by himself. I never forgot how to be a mom. Did you?
