Mona, Your h doesn't respect you as a wife, companion, and/or lover. Take back your respect and DO NOT BAIL HIM OUT! They love to play the "poor me" card so that you'll pay for stuff and trust me, if he goes hungry enough, he'll spend his money. As for the Christmas gifts, he's have a year to put some money aside for gifts from him to his children. I hope he watched Scrooge and the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future visit him!
Keep the focus on you and your family. Stop worrying about him. He's a grown man and he'll figure it out even if he has to go to a soup kitchen.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
