Need Help (new thread)

[AU Bob]

Hi Everyone
Big day for me tomorow christmas morning at my daughters place.
WAW WW will be there, have not spoken to her at length for a few months now, and not really that fussed about it. My GAL
efforts have been paying off and my social and sporting life has really started to kick in, I now go out at least twice a week to gatherings and nights out.
My anxiety levels are almost non existant i still have bouts but i dont dwell on it like i used to, GAL has really helped with this, my confidence has returned and with it my self worth.
I feel I am in an intermediate stage, I am starting to question if I really want to reconcile, I know its only been 7 months since she walked out, although her relationship with the EA partner was probably a few months before that, do you add that to the time frame?
I am now looking at the differences and compatability of our M going back a decade or so, people change in 30 years and even though you live and love them, they are different people from the first years of your M.
I have started to understand this only recently, and it is making a difference to the way I think now, i think my social gatherings and the things I am doing with my life now have opened my eyes to a different way of life, its still early days and I miss close female togetherness quite badly, I feel happier in another way.
The togetherness thing is hard to loose, when you have had 32 years with some one you get into a whats familiar is good comfort zone, I think in long term relationships this can become a problem, you get so comfortable with it you take it for granted and stop working on it because you have a false sense of security that it will always be there, I think this is what happened to us in so many ways.
I still love my wife as much as the first day I met her, and probably always will, she is the mother of my children, and somone who helped me through life to where I am today, we had good times and bad but thats life. I never would have done what she did, but I am not her and I dont know whats going through her head. I spose she is on her journey to find out what she needs from life from this day forward and im not in those plans. I did think about it once in the past but i realised life without her was not something i could live with, I should have realised then that we needed to do something about reconnecting in a loving way, the false sence of security allowed me to be complacent and i did nothing, hindsight is a bitch it dogs you!
I spose what I am saying is, I am starting to understand the big picture. Our M has run a course, and if we were to R it would have to be a new begining, the time apart has allowed us to explore our life choise's and where we want to go from here. If she says to me in the future we can try again I would treat her as if i was meeting her for the first time.
This is why at this point, I am wondering if I really want or need to go there. I have the opportunity to have a freas start too and there may be someone out there who is more compatable, im on the fence witch way to fall?
It will be interesting for myself to see what I am like while around her tomorrow, i hope i can portray myself as a strong confident man and show her I am moving on!
Happy Christmas!!!! N