I agree w/bttrfly. If the D does happen, your h will have lost a wonderful woman who has a lot to offer not only a partner, but the world.

Wishing you a Christmas that is filled w/peace, love and happiness w/your family and friends.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.