Listen to me. I know you feel ashamed and sad right now, but I PROMISE that feeling will pass. It is not reality. WE ALL made huge, gigantic mistakes in our M. Your mistake was no worse than anyone here. I was financially dependent on my H when he left me. Being dependent on him was not something bad or shameful Gmum! You both decided to live that way. NOT JUST YOU. So why would you feel shame?
But I see you do feel bad, and it is okay to feel bad. But you have to realize that soon you will feel good and how soon that happens in completely up to you.
I can tell you one thing I know about OW for a fact. One thing she has against her and there is no way she can fix it either.
She is not you!
He is with her, and it stinks and it hurts, but if you can, you HAVE to let that go for now. You have bigger fish to fry. Shove her down to the bottom of your to-do list.
The first thing to focus on is the fact that you are so emotionally attached that because he changed his life in some way, you were thrown into a depression.
Time to look at figuring out what is keeping you emotionally attached and unhooking those ropes. That way, your mood is not guided by his decisions.
There were many times in the last 12 years when you were more than kind to H. There were millions of ways you supported him, even when he did not deserve it. Because you are a very kind person. You pour love and support to people here with nothing asked in return. So dont start thinking you are some leech for him. You are not.
Rip that focus off of him and even though you dont feel like it, go do something nice for yourself.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
