Thanks for all the support. We met at the bank, it was all business like but there will be plenty to sort out in the New Year. No more I love yous today. I'm not going to repeat it, yesterday I saw the effects. Today she suggested eating at home to wait for S and look at his school marks. I gently said I didn't have much in as we leave tomorrow. She suggested eating out, I said I didn't have time. I said S would see her later when she takes him to dentist. Formal kiss goodbye and wished her Merry Christmas. Time for a few days break.
Nice job! Outstanding actually. I can usually say no once, but the second request I cave. You were like a rock. How are you going to fill the break with thoughts that do not revolve around your R?
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Hi Mona and everyone. It's the first Christmas without her so I've gone back home for a week to be with my parents. Haven't seen them since the separation so just looking for a break.Texted W to let her know we have arrived safely. She wished us a good holiday and asked a couple of irrelevant questions. I've turned off the phone for the day (feels good) and just enjoying sometime with S and parents. Went for a 7 mile run this morning and just spending the day helping out. I've no idea what W has planned for Xmas which is sad in many ways but who knows maybe it will give her the time she needs. Thanks to all of you who read and comment, your support has been so valued in this difficult couple of months.
7 mile run??? I can run 2 blocks and I feel like a running queen when I accomplish that feat! I cant lie, tomorrow will be very hard. But you are brilliant by surrounding yourself with support. I know turning off your phone feels good and terrible at the same time. Good job in just doing it! I really cant believe how well you are doing so quickly.
I hope you have a very merry christmas!
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Merry Christmas to everyone who stops by and reads the thread. I only wish I could contribute more to other threads but there are some wiser heads than mine who give great advice. I'm still learning how to face each day and GAL. I know these days are hard for us all, I just hope each and every one of you finds some comfort with friends or family. Who knows how things will turn out in the future? Be strong and know that on these forums there is always somebody willing to listen to us.
Hi Scrant, I hope you have a nice visit with your folks. Good for you just turning your phone off and leaving W to it. I struggled with that last Xmas. I can compare the two Xmases now and I can see I have moved forward a ways since last year. I've been humming Xmas songs to myself this week, and enjoying wrapping gifts etc. Last year, I just didn't want Xmas to happen at all - progress!
Festive wishes to you my friend...and who knows what 2016 will bring xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Coming to the end of the family visit and thinking ahead to New Year. I've already declined the invitation to the birthday lunch but I'm wondering if I should send a card or just join in the general social media congrats as one person more? We haven't heard from W since Xmas day when I sent her a photo of S. I haven't asked S if he has received more messages since. It's been good to get away these days and my parents have been very kind in offering me support for the future but now it is time to go back and get past New Year and birthday. In W's country we also give presents on 6th as well. This year I bought a couple of things for S and sent them to her to give. I don't think that I'll arrange a time to give them together. If she wants she can have breakfast with him, he'll know that the presents were from me as well and I don't need to be there. Or should I arrange for the three of us to be a family and eat together? Would she see the difference between that and her birthday? Or better to steer clear?
Hi Scrant, I'm glad you had a good break with your folks. Now, you are doing very well, but all of the wondering above sounds a bit backtracky to me.
Your W hasn't been in touch since you sent her a photo of S, you bought things and sent them to her, you're wondering whether to send her a card, should you arrange a family get together - No!! My Pursuit alert buzzer is going off.....
I would stop right there. For your W's B'day, you could do one of two things - simple text - Happy B'day W - have a good day! - or simple card, with nothing schmaltsy in it at all.
Apart from that, wrench your focus off of this woman - who is someone else's girlfriend - and start making plans for 2016. What lovely things are you going to get yourself involved in this coming year? Plan them and tell us all about them. Leave your W on the back burner - there's nothing much you can do WRT her whilst the A remains active anyway...
Take care my friend & you are doing very well (despite my comments above) - just want to keep you on track - remember - street walkin' cheetah with napalm in your pocket - as former poster Defacto would have said xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto thanks for stopping by. Relax, I'm not pursuing! The presents were only sent to her for my convenience as she has been working these days and that way I could guarantee that they were collected. My phone has been off 90% of the time. I was only wondering about the nicest way to behave for W and S, but I'm not going to create Family events as S isn't that interested. I asked him did he want to get his mother a card and he said no. I am focusing on me and S at the moment. We have barely spoken about her the whole time here. I'm looking forward to a race on New Years Eve, S will run too but with his friends. 2016 will take care of itself once I've finalised finances with W. I've got a cookery course in February to look forward to. I haven't got anything else planned but I'll reach out to people and say Yes whenever possible, try to get myself out of my comfort zone.
