Most folks should realize that they should expect the worst while hoping for the best.
Make a plan (with a lawyer for the legal stuff) for you without your WAS as part of the picture. Think through any major decisions ahead of time, what will trigger what action on your part, etc. Make your decisions when you're not emotionally overwhelmed.
Then when the heat of the moment and your emotions come up later, stick to the plan. This will help with managing a rash response... you made the choice with a calmer head.
This is how I stayed ahead of the turmoil and ended up managing a high-conflict personality.
Me: 45 W43 S7, Foster S9 (Planning to adopt post divorce) D mentioned Feb 2015, Wife served 3/24/2015. She moved out 4/15/2015.
