AJ ... Fair point and in a way there has been a good deal of boundary testing , strangely like a child whom you told no more snacks before dinner they wait till you are looking and act like they are reaching for the cookies waiting for youth react and inching closer to that treat till you do. I have been pretty firm as far as not allowing her to blame me, firing truth darts.... But admittedly fell into the punishment trap knowing I have that a "adultery trumps all card" close by and was not afraid to show her it was there even if I didn't pull it I might hint towards it in frustration, this I have been really thinking about and working on.
As far as her takin her frustration out, that cliff is harder for me to walk on it seems ... Not sure why ... And it's such an old M issue that I don't realize it till after it happens , goes back to that fixer/pleaser type person I was.... Showing me more work lays ahead for me still
