I just can't help commenting because I feel exactly the same. I just can't seem to accept the fact H has moved on just like that and I feel like everything is a nightmare someday I can wake up from. Our situations are very similar, I'm a foreigner with no family here. I see H almost every day and he spends time with kids only at our house cause he has nowhere else to take them (living with OW). H is very immature and wants to live his party life, which younger carefree OW can give him without burdens like kids and mortgage. H can come and go whenever he likes to see the kids a little bit, and other times he is just enjoying his single life. H has the best of both worlds. And I still love him and want him back so badly. I don't know why. I don't know why I would want this immature selfish kid with no money? WHY!
H also told me it's not about OW that he wants to leave, but I know without OW, he would never have left or foolishly wasted so much money, or neglected kids etc.
I just tell myself I can give up anytime, I think I will know when, if it is time. H even kept saying he will move out and never happened, and I had to kick him out 3 months after BD. But I'm not going to decide/initiate anything for him anymore. His attitude towards the issues are avoidance, like he thinks if he avoids them for long enough, they will go away. I have made arrangements and taken initiatives all our marriage life for everything, so I'm done doing that for him.
I'm no help, but I just wanted to let you know I'm in a similar boat and rooting for you. Hang in there Rouky.
