I'm exhausted. Didn't sleep a whole lot last night.
He's coming to stay for a few days tomorrow morning. Partly because doesn't have a place to stay, partly to be with D for Christmas.
I made it very clear to him that it means the world for me to get my citizenship before I leave, he seemed to understand. After that I'll feel better about leaving. He's right life will be better overseas. I want to buy a coop eventually, sick of throwing money out the window on rent. Then maybe if D and I can live there 5+ years I can sell it and actually make a little bit of money on it. We'll see.
Hearing him saying he wants to go for it with OW hit me harder than I thought. I understand him though. I've been toxic for him. And completely codependent.
I could DB from here till the moon and back, he'll never see me as anything but D's mom and eventually a friend.
