There is a reference I think in Bryon Katie's book "Loving What Is" or possibly it was Louise Hay's work "You can Heal your Heart", that says that for all the men that came into her life they had been her Mr Right. They came into her life for exactly the right reason at the right time.
I am beginning to think that both Mr M and Mr Ex were my Mr Rights. They did indeed come into my life at the right time, to show me different things I needed to learn about myself.
The longer I review my time with Mr Ex, the more and more I am coming to believe that he was put into my life for this very journey here. My time with him was in general quite loving and true. There was a ease and friendship about our relationship. But for all it was one sided, there were aspects of myself unfulfilled. Yip my responsiblity to have fulfilled them, but there was a lacking of passion and intensity that I had with Mr M that was absent with Mr Ex. I thought this was a good thing, I thought I moved away from a dramatic intensive addictive way of loving to something more reliable and safe. (if you have read Co-dependency No More - you may well understand what I was trying to move away from and move toward).
There must be an inbetween that would be perfect for me. I see Zues shaking his head at my use of the word perfect. The word promotes an attitude of expectation of having every aspect of a relationship and personal need fulfilled. That is not my intention in this idea. There has to a middle ground surely that would fit me to a tee.
It is likely that as I find my own middle ground another Mr Right will come my way, and teach me a whole lot more about myself. I beginning to know that there will be lot less angst and self doubt when the mirror is held up , by my loving partner.
I know some people instinctively know how to love themselves. How to live athentically in their own skin, accecpt their imperfections. I have never been one of those people. I feel that Mr M and Mr Ex were to Mr Rights how have been showing me the way to do this.
I guess what I am reflecting my gratitude to both Mr M and Mr Ex to what they have contributed to my journey to becoming my best self.
