In my MR my W put down my ideas and pushed her way of how things were going to go to the point that I questioned myself. I lost all confidence and just gave up. It was a success for me to get up and get to work and keep my job. I just gave up on everything else and put it in her hands to fail or succeed. She wanted everything done her way so I let her do it. I got to the point where I thought she must know more then me she must be smarter. She crushed me and isolated me from my friends and family. I was no longer the go getting race car driving, rental property owner, confident guy she knew.
So in a way I was a victim but I just accepted it. I couldn't see my life better any other way. I was manipulative when it came to sex. Other than that I would say no.
I was having a pity party. I was frustrated when I wrote it. It wasn't personal to you. I was tired of chronicling the W actions and if I was getting closer to D or R.
At one point, after a couple of months with out sex I would see my W for who she was right now. At times I question why I was even fighting to be with her. At a couple of points in time she was repulsive to me. Now the pendulum Is swinging the other way and I am finding myself wanting to be with her. and I am finding her more attractive.
This is a journey of ups and downs, when I wrote that I was very down and I must say what got me out of it was my GAL soccer.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
