You really can't control anything in that regard, right?
so you demand access and she says "no." Now what? you've just put yourself in a corner and pissed her off.
You can't control her actions, only your own. That's great if you want to give her access to your phone, but you can't force her to do the same. You only get to decide what you will tolerate and what you will live with. Make sense?
Even if you do have access, you can't be sure that she's not using another device or scrubbing hers before she gets home. Transparency is important, but it can't be controlled or enforced.
"I was expecting her to do the same to show she's ready to move on. Would that not be a good idea? Trying to build trust."
That's silent contract talk. I realize saying you want the access makes it not, but you have to think about the thought process there.
you are making the mistaken assumption that if you do "X" W will reciprocate. That's not how people work.
I'm learning that, slowly I might add, as well. People are takers. If we are givers, we have to give from a place of strength, not from a place of bargaining or meeting in the middle. We give with no "expectations."
with WW and WAWs this is particularly true. My W cake ate her way to the point where I was doing everything in the home while she was treating me like garbage and carrying on a full blown romantic relationship! I seriously catered to her every whim and it made me look like an idiot.
I'm glad she's extending the olive branch. I think that's great and looks like progress, but please, please, Trumpet, protect yourself! Don't trust her until she gives you a reason to. Demanding a reason does no good; she'll resent you for it or worse.
