She Wants Me to Leave 3rd Time .....EA or not EA?

[Zues126]

I have reread most of this thread but I guess I'm missing a few things.

WAW has given you the BD. She is WW. She is being blatantly disrespectful including slapping you in the face, essentially telling you that you are a failure as a husband for not standing up for her, and spewing at you every chance she gets.

Yet you seem to act as if you two are married, she is your wife, and you need to protect her, love her, and take care of her?

Have you read Sandi's threads on WWs?

I know I'm on the outside but it seems that you are missing that the marriage is over. You can't bring her back. All you can do is become a strong, independent man that is capable of finding his own happiness and being a spiritual leader of your family. She needs to go on her own journey. Maybe she'll hit rock bottom and make changes in 6 months or 6 years. Maybe she won't. There is nothing you can do to speed that process up. All you can do is slow it down by enabling her, protecting her from the consequences of her actions, and remaining attached/clingy/needy and giving her more reasons to want distance and to feel disrespectful.

I should have put her to bed and and brought it up again when she was sober.

This is an example of what I mean...no, you shouldn't have. Why would you bring this up? There is nothing to bloody talk about. She's BD'd you and is flaunting a series of disrespectful behavior in your face. The more you lecture and try to explain how she's being disrespectful the more she is acting out. No R talks. No words. ACTIONS. She is not your W, she has fired you as an H. Decide what your boundaries are, communicate them one time, then act on them. Have you done this?