Sorry to read about your argument with your W. I can feel your pain as I read the posts. You will get through this. I don't feel you did anything wrong. Change your focus to being there for your W. Have a plan now on what you are going to do to support her after the news of the passing. What you will look after, what you can take off W list of things she needs to do, what you might need to buy her.
My W lost her Grandfather and I was lost at what to do and looking back I should have put some thought into it before hand. I was there for her but did nothing, and didn't think to offer to do anything for her.
Stand strong and be the lighthouse for her.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016