Recent Hurricane

[NateG79]

NateG79,

Fogg is telling you to not force the issue. What does another day do in the big picture? Not much, most likely.

I'm impatient, just like you. Want to see change NOW. I told my wife I would not live in an open relationship. I never wanted to D, but the wife has talked about it in the past, so she's used that as a way to get a reaction out of me.

It sounds like your W wants at least a relationship, and isn't into spewing hatred at you. I'd take that to the bank. Once my wife started wanting to actually be in the same room as me, I wanted to lay it all on the table. She just wasn't ready, and won't be for a while. Just make the deposit into her bank, and then flip the switch back to you. You need to have some concrete under your feet when you make your case, not quicksand. You need enough intestinal fortitude to stand up to her attacks on you when you present your case.

Well, the "talk" was her idea. She brought it up. It wasn't something that I was pushing for. She has expressed to me that she's been upset that since all this happened, that I've simply ignored her. She keeps talking about "figuring out new roles in is a learning process". To me, that means "roles" is us not together raising a kid.

She has claimed that everytime she has said hello, I have actively and intentionally ignored her, but she's used to that by now.....I told her that that was simply how I reacted to knowing she was still continuing on in the affair. "She has stated we will forever have a role in each other's lives, it's just that our roles have changed. We have to communicate in order to be effective parents now that our lives are separate."

My role has not been eliminated, just changed, we have to figure out the new roles. This doesn't sound like someone that has any inkling of Reconciliation. The relationship she seems to want, is to be some level of friends, but, if she's in the affair, is that not just her cake eating? She can't have both worlds.

We put rules on the trial separation, and she immediately broke those rules. We said no dating, and try to at least do some relationship counseling. I tossed the relationship counseling idea out the window as I didn't think it would do anygood at this point. And she lied and said that she had cut off the affair. She hadn't, and I found proof of it. So she changed the rules of the separation right from the beginning. So, now I feel like she's just getting whatever she wants now. She's trying to "friend zone" me, while keeping up this affair in some form. He's married, I highly DOUBT he will leave his family for her, as the cost would be too great, but who knows. She seems to be lingering waiting to see what it turns into. It's very frustrating. I feel like I need to stand up for myself somewhat.