Your kids are very young and you two will be interacting for a long time concerning them. Might as well make sure it's smooth and polite at the very least.
We are both in a transition period. Feelings likely will percolate for a while...
I don't like thinking that way either. That maybe we will just be friendly co-parents and nothing more. That this is how things will be and it's all better this way. I don't know if it's true or not.
We just accept this is how it is and move forward with hope that maybe it's not.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Rainy Monday. Back to work. But, my mind isn't really on anything here. Having trouble with some far-fetched hope that she will suddenly leave her fog and come running back to me. Fantasy world. I know that I will always love her. Probably hope for R until I fall for someone else.
S8 told me last night that he is sad. I told him that he can talk to me or W anytime about anything. Or his grandparents or aunts, etc. He said this sitch is just very hard for him. I'm sure it's the truth. S4 is acting up constantly and S7 isn't the loving kid that he was. They fight more often. It breaks my heart to see them hurting.
This sitch svcks. Sorry having a blah morning. Hope everyone is doing well
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
So, I left and my mind went to "maybe this is best. Maybe we are just supposed to be friendly now and that's it." I don't know that I like this line of thought.
In my mind, "friendly" and "friends" are not the same.
Why would you want to be anything other than friendly with her?
I know that yesterday, if she paid any attention to me at all during the tourney, then she saw me talking to tons of people. Some from our school, and some from our boys all star team that was at another school. I enjoyed catching up with these parents. Seeing their new babies, etc. One of W closest mom friends came and sat with me and talked.
W overheard us dads talking about joining an old man league. I'm sure that caught her off guard, since I am more of a homebody. But, I need to get out more now, since all my hobbies were at the other house.
When you can do all of this without wondering whether W is paying any attention to you, you will be able to find the middle ground.
Thanks az. Friendly, yes... friends no. And as to her watching me, I honestly didn't think about it at the time. I did later on for whatever reason. W overheard the basketball league stuff when she walked up behind me.
I guess I picked that damned rope up again a bit, didn't I. I do still wonder if what I do will impact our chance of r. I know that if I do what is in line with my values, then I have nothing to worry about. It is the impulsiveness, knee-jerk reactions, etc that will hinder any future chance of r.
But, as I told her, that is up to her to come find me. She knows where I stand in all of this.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Sorry you are having a bad day, dday, and especially sorry for the kids. Its got to be especially hard on them for the holidays. Hang in there, you are doing your best.
Had ball tonight. W came and sat right behind me one seat over so she could talk to me. She was asking for aspirin from all the moms, and I happened to have some, so I gave it to her. She was exceptionally nice to me, and then told me that I have to go sign some other paper at her L office. She is extremely happy and excited about all this. I will never understand that. The kids and I are all suffering to some extent, and she acts like it's an adventure.
So disappointed. So I turned back around and went back to watching the game. She tried to bring it up again and I told her I would sign it tomorrow.
What the hell is she going to talk about after it is declared official? She knows I don't want this and I hate talking about it, yet that seems to be all she wants to talk about to me.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Because of the ages of you children you will have her in your life much more then you desire. Maybe showing up with a lady friend at one of these events will cool her jets? Just a thought, you have signed the papers.
