Back on these forums again 4

[mutatio]

Hi Mona, I lost my momentum and stopped exercising. I am going to try and start again this weekend. I think the trick is to create the habit. After some weeks, it is something you do and it becomes easier to get started each day. Good Luck

[PigPen]

Try this anyone having trouble exercising - you don't have to exercise. All you have to do is put your workout clothes on at some point in the day. That's it.

Either first thing in the morning or right after work.

Give it a try!

PP

[Gmum]

Yes. Pigpen is right. Just put on the gear. Then go sit down and watch tv, if you will. No pressure.

[Mona52]

Thursday, driving home from work I was bound and determined not to run. It was rainy and very cold. My D15 was at home with her BF and needed eyes watching her. I just worked all day and I was way too tired. I still had to figure out dinner, get S to basketball practice and D 17 needed a ride to the mall.

So I was sure, while parking my car I was not going to do it.

So I went in the house and just put all my gear on and off I ran. You should see the kids when I put my gear on. Their little faces drop.

"Awww, you are going running? But I wanted you to drive me here or make this and that or do this instead..."

Then my beautiful puppy. She sees my running shoes and goes crazy with unsurpressed joy.

I think I did a little better than the last time.

Friday I dont need to run, because that is DANCING. And I dance

Sunday I went to another dance and saw Chris there. The guy I met last week. We had sent a few text messages to each other throughout the week, and I was under the impression he wanted me to come to the dance to spend more time with him. So I saved him a seat.

He sat for a minute, but then he left. Some other guy asked me to dance so I went to dance with him. I never made it the whole way back to my seat until the band took a break because other guys (none of whom were Chris) kept asking me before I could make it to my table.

Finally the band took a break and I sat down and Chris came over right away. We talked for a while and he seems like a really good guy. He had the best compliments. But the band soon started back up and he did not ask me to dance. He sat there with me for a few minutes until another guy came over and asked me to dance.

I went to dance with the other guy. I was so very confused, because he acted like he was so excited to dance with me, but he did not ask me. He just stood on the wall and watched the dancers all night. He did ask me to dance for a little, but then quickly left me alone so strange other guys would ask me. I did not want to hurt anyone's feeling so I said yes each time.

By the end of the night I was tired of trying to figure him out so I just put my coat on and he came over and said good bye and he was very glad I came?

So, I'm driving home (the dance was about an hour away) and I am slightly annoyed and my cell phone rings. I never touch my phone while I am driving, but I am annoyed so I answered it. It was Chris. He said he had an amazing time watching me dance tonight. So I asked him why he did not dance with me more. He said he wanted me to have fun so he wanted me to dance with whomever I wanted to. He did not want to make me dance with him all night.

He also said he was bound and determined to be a complete gentleman last night, but the outfit I wore was stunning so he left me before he could cross any line.

(Okay... I am positive that was a lie, but it is such a great lie that I am choosing to love it)

So, between Friday night and Sunday night I had the most wonderful weekend with my friends. I laugh so much and dance so much that I have no time to be sad about anything.

I did have an 'altercation' with H this weekend, but I dont want to poison this post with that so I will put that in a separate post.

[Mona52]

So, my H texts me out of the blue... I made notes on the D papers to help him figure them out. There is a waiver he wanted me to sign so that we dont have to wait the 90 days. I flat out said no.

So he texted me asking why I am dragging out the D. I tried so hard to validate and like job suggested NOT to criticize.

job warned me NOT to take the bait. I did not listen...

H: why do you want to drag this out?

Me: I understand why you would think that. That is not my goal. I am 100% on board for the divorce.

H: then why not sign the waiver and get it over with?

Me: It will be over with soon enough, once you file.

H: Just explain so I can understand

Me: There is nothing to explain. This is the normal divorce process.

H: There's no need to prolong this. You can be free within 10 days and we can go on with out lives. Why drag it out for 3 months?

H: We have never done anything normal why start now lol

Me: I am very sorry if this is stressing you. But I cant help you. I have to get ready for Star Wars tonight so I have to go now.
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Now, a smart person, who listens to the wise advice on this board would have ended the d@mn conversation here...

Dont let him bait you. This was my clear instructions...

(BTW, I am typing below as is, so auto-correct on the smartphones make it a bit confusing at some points.
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H: I'm not dressed in confused. One day you say bring me the papers I'll sign everything right now the the next you want to drag it out.

H: your nice your mean. You want to be friends then you hate me. Make up your mind for all pls.

Me: I'm sorry, but you don't have to deal with it anymore. Relax, you are getting everything you wished for, and you are correct for wishing it. Everything is good now H, no need to fight.

H: I'm not fighting with you. But just in clear. What exactly do you think I wished for? Just curious as to what you're thinking.

Me: To get away from me of course

H: I don't want to get away from nice Mona. You will always be in my life one way or another. It's the mean and confusing Mona I can do without.

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Now I am screaming at myself SHUT UP MONA... Just SHUT UP

Nope......

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Me: No problem. Mission accomplished

H: OK. I see there is no more to say. You are in your f off mode. Have a great day and enjoy your movie

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You did it, now shut up, please

Nope...

I made him mad and when I make him mad I get so scared... So I felt I had to immediately fix it. Because I am an idiot.
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Me: I am not. I think you are misreading my text messages in a way I don't mean.

Me: Toward you, I will never be in f off mode
(Why did I text this to him, what is wrong with me?????)

Me: Just because I cant do what you say.

Me: You are also Dr Jeckell and Mr Hyde. If I agree to your demands you say nice things...

H: What? Did you not just read that I wished you a great day lol

H: I always say hi first and end with wishing you the best

H: the only time I've gotten natty is when you jumped down my throat.

Me: You did not say hi today

H: That's cuz I was really confused.

Me: You jumped all over me. But hey, at least you texted me. You refuse to speak to me at all because I dont give you money.

Me: I'm gonna go now. I dont want a fight, I have a big night planned and I want to stay happy.

H: Ugh I'm in 3rd shift you know how I am on this shift. I sleep and work. Was not my intention to give you that idea
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lie...
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H: Again, I'm not fighting. See the lol behind my sentences

H: Not looking for a fight

H: But OK. Enjoy your day and have fun

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For the love of God Mona, please shut up now! It is over

Nope.....
About an hour later I was dying to know why he needed a D so quickly, so like an idiot I asked what I was thinking
--------------------------------

Me: Real quick... Did you promise her you would marry her in the next 90 days?

(Yes, that is how stupid I am... That is really what I asked.)

H: GET MARRIED!!!! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND lol

H: I dont have s%^t to offer anybody. Who in the world would marry me as I am lmao

H: Scraping for quarters for food, gas and ciggs. Playing the bill game just so nothing gets shut off. Yeah I'm a really good catch lol

Me: Then give me my 90 days. It is a shield for me and has nothing to do with you.

H:This has nothing to do with anyone else. I just need this to be finalized.

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That was me criticizing and jumping to the bait. I am the worst DB'er I swear, lol

Then I made a mistake yesterday. It's OK to laugh, I giggle every time I think about it.

I was in the middle of texting Chris. He wanted to know what time I would get to the dance last night. Well, my S had a basketball game, so I sent a quick text to My H to see if he could get S to the game so I could get to the dance earlier.

Then, I THOUGHT I was texting Chris.... Nope.... I texted my H! By accident! It was nothing bad, just logistics to get to the dance, but OMG.

It does not really matter to me what I said to H above. He is the one who should be very very worried about what he says to me right now, not the other way around. Yep, I still choose him above all, but it is becoming a very thin margin.

[Mona52]

Try this anyone having trouble exercising - you don't have to exercise. All you have to do is put your workout clothes on at some point in the day. That's it.

Either first thing in the morning or right after work.

Give it a try!

PP

I love it when a man tell me to go put clothes on...

[Mona52]

I just finished reviewing chapter 6 for the publisher! What that means is as soon as I turn in my exercises for their second book, I am 100% done with all the work for the publishing company until after Christmas.

I am almost fine on my regular job. I am ahead in a few projects and a little behind on one project. But I am not very stressed about that now.

I am behind on my school work. It is at an uncomfortable level now. It is causing high stress levels. I have so little left to finish, but every time I try I just cant. I can get back on track and reduce my stress level if I can stick to finishing my one class 100% completely today. No stopping until it is turned in.

I can use the rest of the days this week to get through my second class.

Just that, those 2 goals will make a huge difference in my stress level.

So, unfortunately, I will not visit any threads until I get this first class done. I miss you all so much so it will motivate me to get MOVING!!

[PigPen]

I have no idea where you get your energy from Mona! Holy smokes you are a busy woman!

Seriously, work, school, publishing, kids, dancing, running, puppy. You're superwoman.

[Mona52]

Thanks PP. I swear it does not feel that way. It feels normal. And it feels good to have a To-Do list that means something and to just get it done. And no one can take it away. They cant just wake up one day and decide I cant have it anymore and I have no control over it.

[ARose]

Mona, I blew it last week, even worse than you just did, I could see that I was heading in that direction and just didn't stop myself. We all have our moments. This is so damn hard. I am glad you stood your ground for your 90 days though. Hang in there, one setback does not dictate the future.