LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (6)

[vise82]

hey GS9,

Good luck for what ever comes your way.

[tl2]

g,

I'm in the same boat...and as Chief Brody said in Jaws: "We're gonna need a bigger boat!"

I wish you the best.

[dday]

Got another seat free? I will bait the hooks.

[sandi2]

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today as you begin a new chapter in your life.

I remember one Christmas I spent time with a heartbroken H who had a WAW. He felt the end of the world had come. Two or more years later (I can't remember) and they are back together. If you have not read Crimson's thread, look it up.

[gs9]

Thank you everyone.
I'm really struggling mentally today. Definitely a combo of the D being finalized, XW still living in the house and the over drinking on Saturday.

I didn't say anything to her during the D proceedings. Didn't even make eye contact with her. She was crying. She walked ahead of me leaving the court room. She wore her sunglasses walking through the courthouse obviously crying and looked back at me. I guess it was the whole one more glance thing.

She got home about 7 pm last night. I walked by her like she wasn't even there. No words or eye contact exchanged

I have to get out of this funk. I have no motivation to do anything. Struggling to get work done

[otw]

G
I wish i knew what those glances mean. I dont know if i should say something or just do nothing. So far i have done nothing.

I have to say reading your last post got to me. I hope you can shake the funk, i know it is hard. What are you thankful for today?

[gs9]

otw,
There probably isn't much use trying to guess what they mean. Their thoughts are all over the place. I'd like to believe she knows she made a mistake but after the D was finalized does it really matter. I guess maybe it does. She has told me many times that she sees us getting back together. I don't know if I'll allow that. What I do know is that today I'm struggling. I just want to take a sleepy time aid and climb back into bed.

what am I thankful for? great question and great train of thought. I am thankful for D4, SS12 and SS14. I am thankful for God's promises and who He is, the love and support of my family and friends, job, house, truck, health, fresh starts, forgiveness.

Just listing these things does help. Got to fight this funk

[PigPen]

Man what a heart wrenching post to read G. I'm sorry brother, what you're experiencing is awful. Gratitude will help, PMA will help, faith in God will help, but it's all still going to hurt - so let it.

My IC said last week that depression wasn't an illness, but rather a gift. That when you get pulled down to your lowest point of consciousness that there are gems down there that can only be reached in the depths. Just like the earth the deeper you go the more precious the stone...or something like that.

My heart goes out to you today buddy. It's ok to stay in bed. It's ok to be miserable. It's ok to cry into your pillow and want it all to go away. It's par for the course.

Just know there are a lot of people on this board who feel for you and are sending you love and strength.

PP

[gs9]

Thanks PP,
I know our biggest times of growth come from turmoil and our lowest places. I know blessings are coming. I just thought the D day would be the bottom of the valley. It's not for me. Could be bc she still lives in the house. I feel this valley may be a big valley.

fortunately I have a job but unfortunately I need to be here today. No crying in my pillow right now.

I'm going to try to find the gems today

[dday]

Sorry gs9. I know it's gotta be tough. Find something fun to do. Gal. Eat a bowl of ice cream, watch a goofy zombie movie, whatever to take your mind off this and give yourself a break.

Wishing you tthe best