New or false hope?

[JulieH]

Husband and I have had very limited and polite and superficial interaction for a long time. Because he left, there has been no drama which is a good thing. I am mad, and rightfully so, but I also have a gift of being able to focus mainly on kids and myself. We get out and do a lot of family things which is awesome.

I have been pretty good with self care...hair, exercise, and I've become addicted to all these skin care treatments from lush. I need to get out more and socialize because I know that would help me detach. I know your not supposed to think this way, but possibilities of another man and being attractive to other men helps me to detach and perhaps let go of my anger for him.

what concerns me about husband pushing me to work full time. He did this when it was logistically impossible for me to do so because we had no child care. His response at time was "figure it out other people do it". I felt bullied. He also said we could not afford to leave my families house to work on marriage unless I worked full time. What pisses me off is that now he tells me I would be able to afford to live on my own with child support and full time work??? Completely contradictory.

Even now he keeps asking why I am not working full time. That for us to have a future I would have to return to work full time. I asked him directly, "are you saying that you do not want to reconcile unless I work full time" and he said that is not what He is saying. That it makes no sense with my degree to not work full time. He is correct in that. Now that kids are in school....

I read once in a book regarding self defense for women...your atatcker will tell you exactly what you need to do. "Don't scream"...you scream. "Don't move"...you fight. Etc

I almost want to just proceed legally, so I can just move on with my life regarding work and meeting someone new. I feel like being in this state of limbo is making me keep my life on hold.